Surviving After Man
by Treecko's Awesomeness
Summary: An expedition to the world of the future leads scientists and sailors alike on a misadventure on a scale never seen before. This combination of a novel and a field guide tells the story of these explorers of the fourth dimension.
1. Chapter 1

**SURVIVING AFTER MAN**

_CHARLES WEDGWOOD'S ALL ENCOMPASSING TRAVEL GUIDE TO THE WORLD OF THE FUTURE_

**Contents:**

Forward

Chapter 1: Voyage of the Time Beagle

**Forward:**

Hello, dear readers, this is Treecko's Awesomeness speaking. Call me TA. A few of you may know me from my Pokémon fanfiction The Nova Travels on Serebii. Before you ask, no, I don't plan on posting it here. This is a story based on Douglas Dixon's _After Man: A Zoology of the Future_. It will be in the format of a regular story with a field guide page at the beginning of each chapter. The field guide entry will contain information on one of the animals or other aspects of the story. The story will follow the humorous adventures of the author of the guide, Charles Wedgwood, as he and his team travel through time to explore the world of the future. For the record, it will be rated K+ for infrequent mild violence and coarse language.

_CHAPTER ONE: VOYAGE OF THE TIME BEAGLE_

_The Time Beagle: a vehicle designed to travel not only through the first three dimensions that we are familiar with, but rather through the fourth dimension of time. It can also travel long distances through the air, permitting its occupants to access different parts of the world._

_The Time Beagle is an enormous vessel at one hundred meters long, fifty meters wide and fifty meters tall. It is built in the design of an ancient wooden watercraft, although this is merely aesthetic. In function, it is much more like a hovercraft, using anti-gravity devices to lift itself off the ground, and it is made of painted metal rather than wood._

_Named for the ship of the ancient scientist Charles Darwin, creator of the theory of evolution, it will serve a similar purpose, as learning about the creatures of the future will revolutionize what we know about the world._

_The first time machine is one of the greatest inventions of mankind, and its maiden voyage will begin soon. Electing not to kill Hitler for fear of creating a temporal paradox, we will travel to the distant future, to a time we could never imagine. We will go to a time after man._

I put down my pen and my notepad as I looked out the window (or rather, porthole) of the _Time Beagle_. Such a stupid name for such an amazing vehicle. When I had received news that I would be accompanying the team as the primary log keeper, I was thrilled. The sponsors of the expedition had read my writings on convergent evolution, and had seen me as the most qualified candidate for the job. Or maybe I was just the best candidate who would work for just over minimum wage. Either way, I was overjoyed at the opportunity. Low pay aside, the benefits were wonderful. The lodging and food were free, and I got full publishing rights to my guide. I was renting out my house while I was gone, too, so I still might make quite a profit off of this trip.

"Hey, Chaz!" said the captain. "Buckle down your books and get up to the bridge. We're heading out."

"I told you before," I said as I put my notepad and pen into a drawer. "My name is Charles, not 'Chaz'." I stood up and walked out of my quarters, heading down the hall and towards the control room. While the outside of the vehicle resembled a Portuguese caravel, the inside was completely modern. Fluorescent lights lined the ceilings, illuminating the dials and switches that adorned the shining steel walls. We didn't want to bring contaminates into the future or the present, so the entire ship and crew had been sterilized, and the crew had been in quarantine for the last month. These people had been my only companions for this time, and they were already getting on my nerves. I could only imagine how much they would annoy me during the six months we would spend together in the future.

I stepped through the door to the control room and saw three other people, including sitting in front of holographic displays, as well as another nine standing nearby, looking lost. The sponsors had wanted to keep the expedition team as small as possible, so we only had a few people on the team, and most of them served several positions. I, due mostly to my inability to handle anything more technologically advanced than a bicycle, was assigned kitchen duty. I still had to be present during the activation, though. It was just a formality, but I was rather curious to see what fifty million years flying past a window looked like.

"The ship's heading out in sixty seconds," the captain said. "Hold on to your butts." He pushed his finger into one of the holograms, and a countdown started, numbers starting at 00:60 floated in the air. I looked at the clock until it read 00:05, at which point I turned to watch the world outside through the window. It was then that I saw something, or rather, someone, out of place. A young woman who I didn't recognize stood in front of the window.

"Stop the countdown!" I shouted. "There's a stowaway!"

Panic broke out and the captain shoved his entire arm into the hologram, stopping the timer. "What? Where? Who?"

"Her!" I shouted pointing at the woman. "Right there!"

The panic stopped, and everyone stared at me. "Charlie," the captain said, "That's not a stowaway. That's Catherine, our evolutionary biologist. She was just appointed today, as the sponsors didn't feel that we had enough coverage in that area. She was rushed through the sanitation process, so please, don't ask."

Catherine blushed and looked down, obviously embarrassed and somewhat angry at the outburst.

"Now, then, if there aren't any more interruptions," said the captain, "maybe we can finish the countdown."

"Yes, sir," I said, even more embarrassed than Catherine, if that was possible.

"Thank you," the captain said. He put his hand once again into the hologram, resuming the countdown. "Four," he said. "Three. Two. One. Here we go."

I stared out the window, and the world swirled into a blur of shapes and colors. It only lasted for a moment, though, and once it faded back into coherence, the world outside was completely different. The city was gone. The ship floated over an endless expanse of grassland. I couldn't see anything moving nearby, but I was certain something was there.

"Captain," said one of the computer users, "I've launched the satellite. We should receive local map data within three minutes and global data within four hours."

"Good," the captain said. "After that, we'll shut off the power. We don't want the reactor running any more than it needs to. Let's set up camp outside. Remember, if you come in contact with any animal life, talk to the biology nerds. You'll probably find them ogling over some grass."

I scowled. I hated it when he called me that. That was when I realized that he said 'nerds', not 'nerd'. Who did he say Catherine was? Crap. She was another biologist. I would have to work with her. This was going to be awkward.


	2. Chapter 2

_CHAPTER TWO: NEW PREDATORS_

_Falanx:__Amphimorphodus cynomorphus_

_Height: 8o cm_

_Length: 150 cm_

_Weight: 25 kg_

_The falanx is a large predator of the North American grasslands. It is, however, descended from a rodent rather than a Carnivore. It is possible that rats like this one have replaced dogs, cats and bears as the world's primary group of predators. This would mean that an entire ecological revolution has occurred. The fact that it was able to push these animals to extinction without intervention seems to confirm our fear that humans have already become extinct._

_These animals hunt in packs similar to those of modern wolves. They stalk their prey in the tall grass, and then attack with its pointed incisors. Its whip-like tail, which remains relatively unchanged from its rodent ancestors, seems to be used as a form of communication. It is held above the grass and waved in the air to signal pack members._

_The falanx appears to be primarily nocturnal, a trait shared by both its ancestors and the wolves it fills the niche of. It seems to have both a strong sense of smell as well as powerful eyesight, but its hearing appears weak. It uses its nose to locate prey and its eyes to hunt them once it finds them._

We had finally set up camp outside of the ship, and shut off the power. Our satellite imagery had finished loading into our GPS devises, meaning that we could use them to navigate anywhere on the planet. At least we could tomorrow, after the solar panels charged in the morning. An armed guard stood in the middle of the campsite, instructed to wake up the others if he saw anything suspicious. I was examining the roots of a fern specimen growing in a patch of dirt just outside of camp when I saw Catherine taking a sample of grass close to me.

I decided that I owed her an apology, so I walked over to her side. "Hello," I said. "Catherine, was it?"

"Yes," she said. "And you're Charlie?"

"No," I said. "The captain calls me by several idiotic nicknames. My name is Charles. I just wanted to apologize for that whole "stowaway" fiasco."

"It's okay," Catherine said, although she still seemed a bit irritated. "I guess it was their fault for not telling you about me, really." She paused for a moment before looking back at me. "Wait a minute," she said. "You're Charles Wedgwood, aren't you?"

"Yes," I said. "How did you know?"

"I've read your books. Your theories on convergent evolution are very interesting," she said. "Do you really believe that niches are constant?"

"Absolutely," I said. "With a few exceptions, obviously. Take the cetaceans, for example. Before dolphins, we had ichthyosaurs. They evolved completely separately, millions of years apart, but look at the resemblance. Even at the same time in different places, similarities occur. Manatees and pinnipeds, for example. If you look at the tail structure, you can see –"

"Quiet," she said as she looked out at the grass. "I see something moving."

"Where?" I asked in a whisper.

"Two o'clock, about twenty meters out." She pointed, and I noticed a rope-like object sticking out of the grass and flicking around.

"Some kind of huge worm?" I asked. "It's possible that they evolved to large sizes in the last fifty epochs."

"I don't think so," she said. "Look at the motion. It wouldn't whip its head around like that. It looks more like a – wait, there's another one over there!" she said, pointing towards another of the ropes. "I think they're tails, but the only things that I can think of with tails like that are rodents. Do you think it might be a large species of rat?"

"You know," I said, "You're probably right. Oh, there's another one!" I pointed to another tail. "With their formation, it almost seems like…" I trailed off as I came to a terrifying realization. "Oh, God. Catherine, let's go back to camp. _Now._"

"Why do you say that?" she asked. "We've just started… Oh, my God, they're hunting us." She stood up and started slowly backing up towards the patch of flattened grass we had built our camp on. I followed her lead, but the tails had started to move closer. We turned around and started to run. The tails came faster and faster, and the grass was rustling more and more loudly. When we burst through the wall of tall grass into the camp, the rats were practically on top of us.

"Somebody shoot these things!" I yelled. I heard a sound somewhere between a squeal and a roar coming from behind me and pushed Catherine to the ground, falling down next to her and allowing an animal about the shape of a wolf, but bearing a strong resemblance to a rat to pass over us.

We jumped back up and started to run past the rat. Before we could get out of jumping range, however, two more of the creatures walked out of the grass, surrounding us. Just as the first rat was about to pounce, a gunshot rang through the air, and the rat fell over dead. The other two, seeing their pack mate fall, ran off back into the grass.

"Are you two okay?" asked the man who had shot the rat.

"We are now," Catherine said. "It's a shame that we had to kill the thing. It's the first animal we found, a beautiful wonder of nature, and we destroyed it."

"Well, to be fair," I said, "the beautiful wonder of nature started it. By the way, Catherine, have you met Alan? He's a computer specialist, kitchen aide, and quite the marksman, apparently."

"No," Alan said, extending his hand to shake Catherine's. "I don't believe we've met. You're the stowaway, correct?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't mention that," Catherine said, shaking his hand. "Would you mind giving us a hand with the animal? We need to get it to the medical tent for examination."

"Sure," Alan said. "What do you think it was? It looks kind of like a dog."

"Actually," I said picking up the back of the animal while Catherine and Alan grabbed the front, "we think that it's a rodent. Look at the hairless tail. Also, the fangs are growing from the incisors instead of the canines, and the ears are small, rounded and folded against the head."

"Huh," Alan said. "Giant rats rule the future. Why couldn't it be bunnies? Nice, fluffy bunnies would make great animals for the future."

"Are you sure about that?" Catherine asked. "Think about it. If that was a ferocious, man-eating fluffy bunny chasing us, would you have been able to shoot it?"

"That's a good point," Alan said as we entered the medical tent and dropped the carcass onto the examining table. "So you're going to dissect it?"

"No," Catherine said. "I brought scanning equipment. We'll be able to create a digital model of the animal by running the scanner over it. Your bullet caused some serious head trauma, not that I'm complaining, and we won't be able to get a full brain scan, but we can get the rest of the body fairly easily."

"Thanks, Alan," I said. "We owe you one."

"No problem," he said. "Now, I've got to get back to guard duty, in case any more of those things show up." He walked out of the tent and stood in the middle of the camp with his gun ready.

"So, then," I said, "You discovered the first animal of the future. What would you like to name it?"

"Well, I think falanx would be a good name for it, due to the hunting formation," Catherine said. "I'll let you handle the scientific name."

"Great," I said. "I'll put it in my guide entry after the examination."

"Good idea," she said. "Let's begin."


	3. Chapter 3

_CHAPTER THREE: LEAVING THE PLAINS_

_Common Rabbuck: Ungulagus silvicultrix_

_Height: 100 cm_

_Length: 200 cm_

_Weight: 70 kg_

_After the Age of Man, ungulates started to die out due to competition from other grazing animals, including the rabbit family. These small lagomorphs stormed the grasslands, eating more efficiently and breeding more rapidly than their competitors. After the ungulates were made obsolete, a niche was opened. The rabbits rose to the task._

_The rabbits grew in size until they reached the proportions of the deer that they replaced. A larger body size permitted them to defend themselves against the rising predator rats. It is likely that interaction between these groups was the driving force behind their evolution. Hopping was no longer efficient for larger animals, so the new lagomorphs evolved a running gate that, once again, mirrored that of the deer._

_These similarities earned the new grazers the name "rabbuck". They seem to have features adapted to forest life, leading us to believe that the plains-dwelling variety is a recently evolved subspecies. Much like deer today, they travel in herds, most likely to protect the old, young and sick members of the herd._

I closed my notebook, having completed my analysis of the specimen. "I'm done, Catherine," I said. "How long do we have before the sedative wears off?"

"I'd give it five minutes," she said. She patted the side of the rabbuck on the table. "We should get it back to its herd as soon as possible."

"Good idea," I said. "The poor things are probably terrified of us now."

"Not as terrified as the falanx." Catherine unstrapped the rabbuck from the table, and we each grabbed one end.

We had been on the North American plains for several weeks, but had found relatively few animals. We had discovered several small rodents, left behind by the predatory rats, but they hadn't changed much over the last fifty million years. Catherine and I had wanted to stay for a while longer, but the other members of the team had grown restless, and wanted to move on. Tensions were rising, and we agreed that we had best make a compromise. We were to complete our research and leave that night.

Having gotten a sufficient distance from camp, we set the animal on the ground just as it started to stir. I couldn't help but smile as the rabbuck stood up and dashed off. This was a whole new world of life, and we were the first to see it.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Catherine asked.

I nodded. "It's a shame we have to leave. At least we'll be moving on to a new habitat. I'm quite interested in finding out what's living in the desert. I do wish that they would go ahead and take us to the ocean, though. I need to know whether there's a new animal occupying the whale niche. If there is, I'll have a huge new boost for my theory."

"I'm not sure what we'll find," Catherine said. "We've got to get back to camp, though. I'm starting to doubt whether the captain would think twice about leaving without us."

"And that's exactly why I stole his sleeping bag this morning," I said. "Let's head back."

The majority of the camp was already packed up by the time we arrived, only our tents and the medical tent remaining. We loaded those into the ship fairly quickly, and we were about to be on our way.

"All aboard!" the captain said as he stood on the deck. "We're off to the desert in twenty minutes!"

The entire team walked up onto the _Time Beagle_, and the flight crew, consisting of the captain and his copilot, entered the cabin. The rest of us elected to stay on deck. The particle shield that formed around the ship prevented us from being torn off of the deck and tossed around like ragdolls.

"Hey, Charles," Alan said. "Hey, Catherine. What's up?"

"Not much," Catherine said. "Charles and I have been talking about the animals we're expecting to find in the desert. I'm expecting to see more rodents and lagomorphs that migrated in, while he's got his money on the insectivores being the dominant group. We both agree that there will be at least one species of rabbuck. Either way, one of us is getting ten bucks."

"Insectivores?" Alan asked. "How would that work? They can't all eat bugs."

"Not that type of insectivore," I said. "Members of the order Insectivora. They're small mammals like shrews, gerbils and moles. I would guess that, in the absence of carnivores and ungulates, they would evolve to fill the niches, considering their prevalence in the desert."

"Okay," Alan said. "As I recall, gerbils aren't that awful. I can live with gerbils."

"Don't count on it," Catherine said. "Remember that T-Rex evolved from tiny lizards."

Alan gulped.

"Hey, everybody," the captain said over the loudspeaker. "In case you haven't looked down in the last fifteen minutes, I'm here to inform you that we've reached our destination. Prepare for landing."

"Do you see anything down there?" I asked Catherine as we looked over the edge of the boat. It was late, and too dark to see much, but we could make out a few giant green shapes.

"Just a few cacti. The ones big enough to see from this height look like saguaros. We'll have to take samples to be certain, but I'd guess that they're living fossils that survived the last fifty million years."

I nodded. "The cacti, especially ones that big, would definitely allow a large variety of life to survive around them. They could act as a source of food, shelter and water. The thorns could even protect inhabitants from predators."

We both stopped talking as the ship sunk towards the desert sand. The landing gear extended from the hull and sunk into the sand. The ship's antigravity device gradually shut down, leaving it sitting in the sand.

"Alright, crew," the captain said as he stepped out onto the deck, "let's set up camp."

I yawned and stretched as I woke up. We were all exhausted the night before, as we had been forced to set up every tent multiple times due to a poor choice of rocks to hold them down. By the time we were finished, it was four in the morning. Catherine and I didn't even have time to take samples of the cacti, although it was fairly clear by the time we landed that they were saguaros.

As I walked out of the tent, I saw everyone packing up their tents. "Hey!" I said. "What's going on?"

Catherine was the one to answer. "Something got into the cargo hold last night. There are gashes in all of the bags, and several pieces of equipment are missing, including the first aid kits and all the extra water."

The captain butted in. "We're going to move the campsite. If it was a predator, it's not safe to stay here. It knows where we are now, it knows we have food, and it's obviously aggressive if it was willing to go into the camp to get to our supplies. We'll find another landing site somewhere else in the desert."

"Alright, then," I said. I didn't see the point in arguing, as most of the camp was already put away. Finding a new site wouldn't cause too much of a delay, and it was worth moving if the predator really was dangerous.

It took about fifteen minutes to put my tent away, and I was on the ship soon after. The captain and copilot were in the control room preparing for takeoff, and Catherine and I were examining the damaged bags. "The claws look to be about two centimeters wide and six centimeters long," I said. "Any ideas?"

"I don't think that we can identify it yet. We'll need an inventory of exactly what was taken. When we land, we can try to find a match in the local ecology. Maybe we can –"

"Uh, hello, everyone," said the captain over the loudspeaker. "We've got a problem. Whatever got into the supplies also got onto the ship. It tore out a few wires in the control room, and until we get this fixed, we're earthbound. We're going to head back out to the desert to see if we can find any tracks. Everyone head to the exit immediately."

"Catherine," I said, "We need to get out of here. If the animal got into the ship, I doubt that it would leave in a hurry. The temperature and humidity are kept at the ideal level. I'd be willing to bet that it's still on board."

Before Catherine could respond the captain spoke again over the loudspeaker. "More bad news: It turns out that some brilliant engineer decided to lead the wire controlling the locks through the same tube as the ones powering the engines. We're going to be stuck here for a while. We've got extra food and water in storage, though, and we can survive for as long as we need to until we can figure out a way to improvise wires."

Catherine and I exchanged a glance before running off towards the control room. We had to warn them. As we turned the final corner, the lights shut off, leaving us in total darkness. "Crap!" Catherine said. "It must have torn out the wires leading to the lighting system. You know your way around the ship, right?"

"Yes," I said. "Mostly. Where do we need to go?"

"The armory. If we run into this thing, we can't be unarmed."

"Good idea," I said. "I'm pretty sure that it's down a hallway to the left about five meters past here. Stick to the wall, and we can –"

We heard the sound of something hitting the metal of the floor. "What was that?" Catherine asked. We heard the sound again. "I think it's coming towards us."

"Wait!" I said. "I have a flashlight."

"That's not going to do much good now," she said. "Be ready to run."

I nodded. The clicking was becoming more frequent and louder. Bracing myself, I switched on the flashlight that I pulled from my pocket and shined it in front of me. "Oh my God," I said. "You've got to be kidding me."


	4. Chapter 4

_CHAPTER FOUR: INTRUDER_

_Saguaro rootsucker: Palatops wedgewood_

_Height: 20 cm_

_Length: 70 cm_

_Weight: 12 kg_

_The saguaro rootsucker is a descendant of the modern mole. It is a highly specialized animal that feeds off of the roots of the saguaro cactus. A single rootsucker can have a full square kilometer of territory, and cycles between all the saguaro cacti on its land. In this way, it never overuses one any one plant._

_One of the most distinctive features of the saguaro rootsucker is its armor. This is made of highly compact hair, and is harder than the strongest of modern turtle shells. This armor is not, as one might expect, primarily a measure against predators, but rather an adaptation to retain moisture. The rootsucker retracts it head and limbs in towards its body shell, leaving almost none of its body uncovered._

_Another easily recognized feature is the rootsucker's long set of front claws. It uses these to pierce the skin of tough cacti and extract the water and meat of the plant. Thanks to its armored paws, it is able to ignore the thorns while feeding. It also uses these claws as paddles to move through the sand. It makes its home underneath a cactus and travels to and from there._

"We were running from that?" asked Catherine, looking at the small, furry animal covered in armor. "But it's adorable!"

"It looks like a burrower," I said. "That must be why it was tearing out the wires. It must have thought that they were roots. Now the only thing to do is – hey, what's it doing?" As I was talking, the animal had approached me and was tugging at my shoestring. "Hey, that's mine!"

"Charles, wait," Catherine said. "We can follow it to wherever it's been taking the wires."

"Good idea," I said. I reached down and untied my shoe, allowing the animal to pull it out of the shoe. As it waddled away, we followed it, and we soon came across a loose panel on the wall. The animal pushed through the gap and sat down on a pile of wires and bandages. "So that's where it's been taking them. We'd better get these down to the control room. If you take them, I'll take the creature to the lab."

"Sure," she said. "I guess this one's yours to name, since you found it with your flashlight."

"I think I'll call it a rootsucker, at least until we get some more information. I'll take it in for examination. I grabbed the animal by the hips, and, to my surprise, it didn't struggle. It simply looked at me for a moment before it started licking my hand.

"You're a friendly little guy, aren't you?" I asked as I walked towards the lab. "I guess you wouldn't really have a predator problem with that armor of yours, would you?"

The animal purred, yawned and fell asleep in my arms. I chuckled. "You're a cute little fella, you know that?"

It had been about fifteen minutes, and the ship was up and running again. I was in the lab with the rootsucker, and I had already finished scanning him. I was writing my guide entry on his species while he sat on my lap when Catherine walked in.

"Really, Charles?" she asked. "You have it sitting on your lap?"

"What?" I asked. "He likes it. It's not doing any harm."

"It's not a housecat, Charles. It's a wild animal. You don't know if it's just waiting to lay its eggs in your brain."

"First off, he's a placental mammal. Second, he's male, and third, look at how sweet he is. He wouldn't do something mean like that, would you, Jeffery?"

"Oh, come on, you know what I meant, and besides, it – You named it Jeffery?"

"Look at him and tell me he doesn't look like a Jeffery," I said, holding him up to her face. "Besides, he's been playing around in our electrical system. We need to keep him under observation until we're sure he's healthy."

"Fine," Catherine said. "Don't get too attached, though. We have to release it before we leave the area.

"Yes!" I said. "Come on, Jeffery, let me show you my room. I'll make you a little bed to sleep in, and you can help me with my guide, and…"

"Oh, god," Catherine said. "What have I done?"

"Captain, you have to pull out the solar panels," Catherine said. "Not only do we have to keep the rootsucker under observation, but we need to capture water from the air to replace the water that he took. If you don't use the panels, we'll have to leave the reactor active."

"Fine," the captain said. "We'll use the panels, but don't complain if they get torn off in a sandstorm before they can activate the shield."

"Good," said Catherine. "I'll go organize a team to set them up." She walked off towards the living quarters. "Hey!" she said, knocking on each of the doors as she passed them. "Who's going to help me set up the solar panels?" Several crew members, myself included, left their rooms and started to follow Catherine. "You can't bring the rootsucker, Charles."

"Drat," I said, putting Jeffery back into our room, where he crawled onto his bed, yawned and scratched his head. "Stay out of trouble, Jeffery."

I stood up and wiped my hands on my shirt as I secured the last of my panels onto the deck. There were only a few more people finishing up, and I thought it was about time to start preparing lunch. We had been a bit preoccupied with Jeffery's invasion, and it was one o'clock, so everyone was hungry. I was happy to have access to the ship's kitchen again, as opposed to the usual campfire and grill rack. I planned to do something with the fish stores on the ship. Maybe it was the desert making me want something from the ocean. Regardless, as head chef, I had full choice over what we ate.

As I stepped into the kitchen, I saw that I was the first one there. I walked towards the freezer, which was kept on at all times with stored power from whenever the ship was active. Opening the door, I shivered at the change of temperature. The room was quite large, more so than any of our living quarters. It had to be to house enough food to last the crew six months. I walked towards the back of the freezer and grabbed a few Atlantic cod from the middle shelf. I also picked up a few lemons on the way out.

"Hello, Charles," Catherine said. She had apparently walked in while I was getting the fish. "Jacobs is helping the captain double check the wiring, so I'm on kitchen duty today."

"Great," I said. "What kind of experience do you have with cooking?"

"Well, I routinely burn microwave macaroni and cheese, so not much," she said. "I'm not going to be of much help aside from getting ingredients for you."

"That's okay," I said. "If you preheat the oven to one seventy five Celsius, I'll start seasoning the fish. Oh, and while you're over there, could you grab some parsley?"

"Sure," she said.


	5. Chapter 5

_CHAPTER FIVE: SWARM_

_Leaping Devil: __Daemonops rotundus_

_Height: 15 cm_

_Length: 45 cm_

_Weight: 70 g_

_The deserts of the world were one of the only places on earth left largely unaffected by the extinction of man. Very few humans ever spent a significant amount of time in the desert, meaning that it's evolution over the last fifty million years has continued on the same path it was traveling in modern times. Most carnivores left them in favor of the plains and forests, where they were out-competed by the predator rats that had already taken hold there._

_One of the groups that replaced them is the insectivores. Gerbils, presumably starting in the Gobi Desert, began to evolve into predators. The species that had previously preyed on insects started to extend their diets to include reptiles, birds and even their own seed-eating relatives. Predatory gerbils grew more and more specialized, eventually developing into the leaping devil._

_The leaping devil is still very small, much like its ancestors. It makes up for this in ferocity and intelligence. They hunt large prey in groups and small prey individually. They use their powerful hind legs to leap up onto their prey, overwhelming it with sheer numbers. Their nests are the size of small houses, and hold hundreds of individuals. While the majority of their social structure is solitary, hunting is performed by the entire settlement. They will swarm a large animal and kill it by tearing out small chunks of flesh with their fangs and waiting for it to bleed to death._

The fish turned out to be quite good. We had walked out into the desert to eat lunch and Catherine and I were examining the cacti. I had turned backpack into a makeshift carrier for Jeffery, who was sitting inside and sticking his head out. We had collected several roots to feed him, and he was half asleep. Just as I was about to move on to the next cactus, I felt Jeffery shuffling around. Looking behind me, I saw that he was completely inside the bag with his head, legs and tail pulled against his body.

"What is it, buddy?" I asked. "Do you smell something?"

"Charles, we should probably get into the ship," Catherine said. "If he's reacting like that, he probably noticed a predator."

"You said 'he' that time," I said. "You usually say 'it', but you said 'he' this time,"

"Not the time for that," she said. "Let's get everyone inside before whatever the rootsucker smelled gets here."

We started walking back towards camp, but stopped when we saw a small animal in our path. It looked like a jerboa with a very long tail and small ears. It didn't seem to be afraid of us, so I bent down to examine it. "Look at this," I said.

"Do you think it's running from whatever the rootsucker smelled?" Catherine asked.

"I don't know," I said as I reached towards it. "It doesn't seem to be too scared. Maybe it – Ow! It bit me!" I said, pulling my hand away. The animal had quite the set of fangs, and my hand was bleeding fairly badly. "Let's get back to camp. We can get a bandage from the medical tent."

Just as we started walking, though, another of the animals came up to us, followed by several more. They started appearing faster and faster, and before long, there were hundreds of them surrounding us.

"Oh," I said. "They're what Jeffery was scared of."

"If we can distract them, we'll have enough time to get away," Catherine said as they started closing in. "The problem is that we don't have anything to –"

All of the animals turned their heads as a screeching rabbuck, slightly different from the plains-dwelling variety we were familiar with ran past. Distracted by the large prey item, the swarm of tiny predators left to chase after it. Catherine and I watched in horror as they leapt onto the creature's back, tearing off chunks of flesh and fur. The herbivore was forced to slow down, and eventually fell to the ground. In seconds, it was covered in a writhing mass of its hunters, and its cries died down to nothing. In less than a minute, nothing but a skeleton lay where the rabbuck had fallen. By that time, though, Catherine and I were watching over our shoulders as we ran for the safety of camp.

The animals started to take notice of us again, and begin chasing after us, albeit slower due to their recent meal. As we reached the landing sight, the creatures were just behind us.

"Everyone, inside!" Catherine shouted. Shooting these animals wouldn't so any good, as there were too many of them to put any dent in their numbers. Fleeing was the only option. The rest of the crew, several of whom were outside at the time, went along with the order without question. They dropped what they were doing and ran up the ramp, onto the deck and into the interior of the ship. Catherine and I were the last ones on board, and by the time we reached the door, several of the animals had already started biting at our heels. Just as we made a final lunge through the door, a crew member slammed it shut. One of the small animals had jumped in behind us, but Catherine kicked it into the wall before it could attack.

"This is the second time you two have led something that wants to kill us back to camp," The captain said. "I hope you're not going to make a habit of this."

"Well excuse us for not getting eaten," I said. "By the way, Catherine, nice kick."

"Thanks," she said. "I took Tae-Kwan-Do a few million years ago." She picked up the animal, which had stopped moving after hitting the wall. She pressed a finger into its chest. "It's still alive," she said. "Just unconscious. Charles and I can take it back to the lab for study."

"Just make sure the little devil doesn't escape," said a crewman.


	6. Chapter 6

_CHAPTER SIX: GOLDEN SEA_

_Desert Shark: Psammonarus Baptisteus_

_Height: 25 cm_

_Length: 200 cm_

_Weight: 40 kg_

_The desert shark is a remarkable animal, having changed much since it evolved from the modern naked mole rat. Like the gerbils, many of the mole rats evolved predatory tendencies. Unlike the gerbils, however, it increased drastically in size, reaching over two meters in length. It abandoned its eusocial lifestyle for one of solitary males and females that travel with young._

_They move through the sand much like their aquatic namesakes move through the water. By swinging their powerful body back and forth, they propel themselves forward. When they detect prey with the touch sensitive skin on the front of its face, thy jump out of the sand, opening their mouths at the perfect moment to catch the prey without swallowing any sand._

_It originated in Africa, but spread throughout the world's deserts when Africa collided with Eurasia, which in turn collided with North America. This range shows its success as a predator, as does the fact that it has no known enemies._

Catherine and I had completed our study of the animal, which we had named the leaping devil. It was recovering quickly, and we had placed it in a glass terrarium in preparation for its waking. Miraculously, it didn't have any broken bones, and would be ready to leave the ship the moment it woke up. We didn't want to kill it if we didn't have to.

"So, what do you think?" I asked. "Is it eusocial?"

"No," she said. "It's a female, and it has a fully functioning reproductive system. They're probably more like pack hunters, only with really big packs."

"Makes sense." I looked out the window. The leaping devils were still jumping up at the side of the ship, scratching at the hull. "When do you think they'll leave?"

"Pretty soon," Catherine said. "It wouldn't make any sense for them to pursue prey for more than a short amount of time. By the looks of things, they have very fast metabolisms, and they won't be able to keep this up without food for much longer. Besides, we know from the rabbuck that they're easily distracted. All it's going to take is another large animal running by, and they'll make a mad dash away from here."

"I guess you're right," I said. "They probably live around here, though. Considering that we didn't see any juvenile, old or sick animals, that was unlikely to be a migration. It was probably just a hunting party. If we stay here, they're going to come back."

"Well we can't leave yet. The rootsucker is still under observation, and we can't take it out of its home range.

"We could always take him with us," I said. "Jeffrey would love to see the world."

"Calm down, Charles. If we did remove him from the immediate area, which we won't, we would just take him to another part of the desert."

We both turned around as we heard the leaping devil screeching behind us. It had become aggressive, attacking the glass, as soon as it regained consciousness.

"It seems healthy enough to return to its pack," I said. "The crew won't be happy knowing that we released it."

"I think that the crew understands that one animal won't affect the attack," Catherine said. "Let's let it out. The devils aren't reaching the porthole, so we should be able to lower it down if we contain it in something lightweight. Any ideas?"

"We could put it in the empty first aid kit," I said. "Jeffery helped clear it out for us."

"Great idea," she said. She grabbed the box, which was sitting on the shelf right by the leaping devil's cage. "Charles, put your hand in the cage."

"What?" I asked. "Are you insane? It'll bite me!"

"That's the idea," she said. "If it latches on, we can get it into the box."

"Absolutely not!" I said. "There is no way that I'm letting that think bite my hand off just to get it into a box."

"What do you suggest, then?" Catherine asked. "If we open the tank, it'll just jump out unless it has a target."

I opened my mouth to protest, but then thought of a better solution. "Fine, but only if you agree to let Jeffrey come with us until the end of the voyage."

"No," Catherine said. "That would be irresponsible, unethical, and completely contradictory to the point of our mission."

"Oh, come on,'' I said, reaching into my bag and pulling out the rootsucker, who had until then been sleeping. He yawned as I held him beside my face. "Please? How can you say no to that face?"

Catherine frowned. "You're not going to convince me with that."

"I'll teach you how to cook, and I'll let you name the next ten species we find."

"It's not going to happen."

"I'll give you a signed copy of my book."

"Now you're just being conceited."

"I'll teach you to dive when we go to the ocean."

She hesitated that time. I could tell that I struck gold. I was the only one on the team with scuba certification, and I knew that she wanted to dive with whatever animals lived in the oceans of the future.

"Okay," she said. "You can take the rootsucker. We're returning it as soon as we circle back around, though. And if anyone asks, we have to perform additional neurological research."

"Yes!" I said, hugging Jeffery, who scratched his ear and yawned again. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! We're going to be friends forever, Jeffery!"

"Stop that," she said. "It's a little disturbing. And you still have to let the leaping devil bite your hand."

"Okay," I said. I put Jeffery down and walked over to the terrarium. I braced myself, then opened the cage and stuck my hand in. I felt the predatory gerbil's teeth sink its teeth into my palm, and I pulled out my hand, knocking it into the box that Catherine had ready. She slammed it shut, and I started shaking my injured hand, which was bleeding a little.

Catherine tied a rope to the locking mechanism and opened the window. She lowered the shaking box towards the ground, where she yanked on the rope, opening the lock. The leaping devils stopped jumping for a moment as the one we had lowered down stepped out of the box. One of them walked up to it and sniffed it. In one swift motion, it bit down on its abdomen, tearing off a chunk of flesh, killing the released animal instantly. It and a few others cleaned the body of meat and resumed jumping.

"Oh my god," I said. "They killed it. Why would they kill it?"

"They must have smelled us on it, and rejected it from the pack," Catherine said, closing the window. "It's odd, but it's probably a defense mechanism that evolved to keep members of rival packs from infiltrating the group." She stopped. "Wait. Listen."

"The scratching stopped," I said. "Why would it stop?"

"Maybe they gave up or started chasing another animal."

"I don't think so," I said. "If they gave up, it would have stopped more gradually, and we would have heard the struggle if they changed targets." We walked to the porthole and looked out. Mounds of sand were piling up in lines, circling the leaping devils, which were huddled together at the center of the ring.

"Wormsign?" I said.

"It looks like a subterranean predator," Catherine said. "See if you can get a reading on the scanner."

Before I could grab the device, a huge, pink and hairless head, followed shortly by a similar body, burst through the ground, swallowing about ten of the leaping devils. The remainder panicked, dashing around the ring only to be swallowed up by more of the giant predators. I grabbed the scanner and managed to aim it at one before it dove back beneath the sand. Only a tenth of the original number of the gerbils remained, scattering across the desert.

Catherine and I stared open-mouthed as the predators disappeared. "Remind me to watch out for tracks out there," I said.

"Holy crap!" said Alan as he ran into the lab. "Did you see those things?"

"Yep," I said. "We got a scan, too. It'll be a while before we can get a full analysis, but I'm pretty sure it was an insectivore. As that's three to nothing, I believe someone owes me ten bucks."

"Fine," Catherine said, pulling the specified amount from her wallet and handing it over. "I'll remember this later, though. I'll destroy you in the pacific island category.

"I'm telling you right now, it'll be birds."

"And I'm betting on mammals," she said. "We'll see when we get there."

"You two are making a real sport of this, aren't you?" asked Alan.

"Yes," we said.


	7. Chapter 7

_CHAPTER SEVEN: OASIS_

_Desert Spickle: Fistulostium setosum_

_Height: 3 cm_

_Length: 10 cm_

_Weight: 100 g_

_The desert spickle is a bizarre descendent of the hedgehog adapted to desert life. It subsists entirely on the nectar of cacti. The spikes on its back serve not only as protection from predators, but also as camouflage while it grips the side of a cactus. This is a symbiotic relationship, as it can spread pollen from plant to plant while feeding._

_Fin Lizard: Velusarus bipod_

_Height: 30 cm_

_Length: 60 cm_

_Weight: 1500 g_

_The fin lizard is a bipedal anole adapted to run at extreme speeds over the sand. It can reach speeds of over fifty kilometers per hour at a sprint. It is named for the three long fins stretching from its chin and forehead to its neck, and along its tail. These fins provide additional surface area, allowing it to get rid of excess body heat. Its front libs are completely gone, as they only produce an obstacle to running._

_Long-Legged Quail: Deserta Catholica_

_Height: 150 cm_

_Length: 200 cm_

_Weight: 10 kg_

_The long-legged quail is a large ground-dwelling carnivorous bird. Evolved from modern quails, it is fairly similar, apart from its size. The males possess a large head plume, while the females have none. They prey on small animals such as the spickle and fin lizard, mostly around oases. It is, however, incapable of hunting the leaping devil and rootsucker, due to their ferocity and armor, respectively. They bury their eggs in the sand, sitting on them to monitor their temperature and protect them from animals that would steal them._

"How much longer is this going to take?" I asked. "We've been hiking all day."

"Toughen up," Catherine said. We were searching for an oasis, as Catherine and I thought it would be the ideal location to study animal life. I was starting to question whether or not it was worth it. I had nearly emptied my canteen already, and we still hadn't found any signs of water. The number of cacti present was slowly increasing, hinting that we were approaching water, but finding it seemed impossible. We had spent a few weeks in the desert already, and were long behind schedule. If we didn't find any animals today, we might have to move on without completing our local research. We had spent our time studying Jeffery, the desert rabbuck, leaping devils and the naked mole rat descendants, which we had named desert sharks.

"Hey," said Anna, the team cartographer. "Look over there! Palm trees!"

We looked in the direction she indicated, and saw that she was right. Several of the trees were clustered around a small area of rocks, hinting at a water source. We changed directions to head towards the plants, reinvigorated by the sight of our goal. It took only five minutes to reach the trees, and when we arrived, we were greeted by the long awaited sight of a pool of water fed by an underground spring.

"Finally!" I said. I immediately filled my canteen with the clear water before dropping in a disinfecting tablet and taking a gulp. As I drank, the rest of the crew sat in the shade of the palm trees with their own canteens. Plugging up my canteen, I saw something dart by the pool. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Catherine asked, walking towards me.

"I saw something run by just now." The shape darted by again, and I was able to make out a yellowish brown color. "There it was again!"

"Where?" Catherine asked.

"Keep looking," I said. "It'll show up."

"Oh, I saw it!" she said. "What do you think it is?"

"Who knows?" I said. "Maybe if it comes closer, we can get a better look."

Just as I finished talking, the shape appeared again, and stopped to drink from the pool. It was a lizard with no visible arms and several flaps of skin protruding from its neck. "Will you look at that," I said. "It's got no front limbs."

"They probably became an obstacle to running bipedally," Catherine said. "They were selected against, and eventually disappeared."

"Seems likely enough," I said. "It looks a bit like a frilled lizard, but judging by its head shape, I'd guess that it evolved from anoles." We were watching the lizard so intently that we didn't notice the other animal approaching it. It did, however, and darted out of the way just in time to avoid the giant beak clamping shut around it.

The beak was attached to a huge quail one and a half meters tall. A large red plume grew from its head, and it was followed by another bird that lacked a crest, but was otherwise identical. They looked at us momentarily, but then went back to ignoring us and started drinking from the pool.

"Wow," Catherine said. "They're huge."

"The new ostriches," I said. "They must live by the oasis, or they wouldn't be able to get enough food or water to survive."

Catherine nodded. "They look like a breeding pair. I'd be willing to bet that we could find their nest around here, most likely in the rocks."

"You know what we have to do now, then." I put my canteen on my belt and turned towards the rocks. "Let's find a nest."

Catherine and I walked towards the rocky area, which covered about one square mile, with boulders jutting up from the ground amid puddles of sand. It took a long time to find the nest, but eventually, we came upon a clearing in the rocks. There was an elevated pile of sand in the middle with an indentation on top, and numerous sets of huge avian footprints led to and from the mound. I immediately began digging in the nest, and my hand soon hit something hard, and I grabbed it and pulled it out. It was a large egg, slightly smaller than that of an ostrich, and covered in dark brown blotches.

"Will you look at that," I said. "They bury them in the sand to maintain a healthy temperature. I wonder if they share parental duties or- Catherine, are you even listening?"

"Charles," she said, "put the egg down and turn around slowly." I did as she said and was greeted by the sight of two very angry birds. The quails had returned to their nest, and they weren't happy about finding us there. "Run towards the oasis on the count of three," Catherine said. The female scraped her foot through the sand and lowered her head. "One-"

The male let out a loud screech and both birds charged.

"Three!" she said. We turned and ran away from the animals as fast as we could, dodging around boulders and looking behind us occasionally. The quails were fast, and they were catching up.

"Try running in zigzags," Catherine said. "If we can wear them out, we can get away."

The two of us turned in opposite directions, leading the quails apart. They were showing signs of tiring, and we were close to the oasis. We curved back together, and finally passed the last rock, reaching the pool.

"Tranq gun, now!" Catherine yelled. One of the crewmen under the trees threw her the weapon just as the birds entered the clearing, breathing heavily. They looked at us for a while, and the female growled. After about a minute, the birds seemed to forget about us.

"Why did they stop chasing you?" asked a crewman.

"They know we don't want to hurt them," I said. "Besides, they have eggs to care for, and they can't afford to waste energy chasing us off.

The quails drank from the pool, and the female seemed to pluck something off of a cactus. Something squirmed around in its beak before being gulped down, and Catherine and I rushed to the nearest cactus. We hadn't noticed before, but some of the spines were moving. Upon closer examination, we saw that several small, furry animals were pressing their bodies against the side of the plant. I pulled out my scanner and ran it over one of the animals. As an afterthought, I scanned the quails as they were leaving. I would look over the data later when I was writing the guide entry. I could do that later, though. Right now, I had a better idea.

"Hey," I said. "Anyone up for swimming?"

"Sure," said Alan. We took off our packs and jumped into the pool, shivering at the shock of the cold water. We didn't worry about getting our clothes wet, as they would dry out in the sun soon enough anyway. We were soon joined by the rest of the crew, and we made the best of our last day in the desert.


	8. Chapter 8

_CHAPTER EIGHT: LAND OF THE PINES_

_Helmeted hornhead: Cornudens horridus_

_Height: 2 m_

_Length: 3 m_

_Weight: 600 kg_

_The helmeted hornhead is a descendant of the antelope. It migrated to the Americas from Africa, and seems to be the ungulates' last stand against the rabbucks. Unlike many, though, this last stand seems to be very successful. The hornhead has become highly evolved to its new environment, and the rabbucks have been all but driven out of the coniferous forest. The antelopes have taken control._

_The helmeted hornhead gets its name from the bony plate on its head. It evolved from the horns of its ancestors, but is now far stronger. It serves many functions to its owner, the protrusions on top being used for display and sparring, the beak-like lip covering being used for browsing, and the whole horn being used as a defense against predators._

_Hornheads fill a role similar to that of the now extinct moose from the age of man. Like the moose, though, being the largest animals in the forest does not make them immune to predation. The falanx of the plains also thrive in the forest, and the giant antelopes make a great food source._

"Wow," I said, looking down at the landscape of southern Canada. "Looks like fifty million years got that whole deforestation problem taken care of." The entire landscape was blanketed with pine trees, the occasional lake dotting the landscape.

"I can only imagine what kind of life we'll find in there," Catherine said as she sipped at her tea. I felt that, as we were entering a cooler climate, this was the perfect time to sharpen my brewing skills.

"I'm more worried about how we're going to land," Alan said as he walked in. "We don't want to crush any trees, and I haven't seen any clearings."

"I was assuming we were going to land in one of the lakes," I said. "It is a boat, isn't it?"

"It's not a boat," Alan said. "It's a device designed to cut through the fabric of time itself, the greatest scientific achievement in history!"

I shrugged. "Still a boat."

"Attention, crew," the captain said over the loudspeaker. "We'll be landing in a large lake up ahead, so start pulling out the rafts. We can head to shore and set up camp there."

I sipped my own tea. "Told you."

Alan groaned and walked out. "It's not a boat."

"Do you think it's safe to set up camp outside?" Catherine asked. "After all, we were attacked by leaping devils in the desert and falanx on the plains. More than likely, something here is going to want a taste of us, too."

"It'll probably be fine," I said. "We'll be on the lakeshore, so we'll most likely be surrounded by herbivores. If a predator has to choose between prey with a machine gun and prey without one, it'll probably take the latter."

"I suppose so," Catherine said, "but I'd prefer we didn't have to kill something here."

"Better them than us," I said. "Now let's head onto the deck. We need to get the gear ready."

I hopped into the inflated rubber raft alongside Catherine and a few other crew members, looking at the shore to see if I could pick out any animals. Unfortunately, the shadows from the tall pine trees obscured the beach, and if there were any animals there, I couldn't see them. As I grabbed a paddle and started to row, the captain began to speak from the deck.

"Keep your eyes open. We never know what kind of creatures are going to show up, especially with the nerds' built in predator magnet."

"It's not our fault things keep trying to eat us," I grumbled. "Except for the quails. That was my fault."

"When you hit shore, organize into parties. Alan, Peter and Jack; you're going to scout out the area. Bring some rifles. Catherine, you and Chuck can set up camp."

"My name's not Chuck," I said under my breath.

"Jennifer is going to keep watch with you," the captain said. "Al, Tim, Sara and I will establish a communication warp to send back a status report. It's going to take a lot of energy, so Will, Lydia, Fredric and Anna are going to help deactivate the rest of the ship and monitor the reactor. That's everyone, I think, so get to it." Just as I picked my paddle back up, he stopped us again. "Oh, and Chucky, try to keep your mole from popping the raft."

I stroked Jeffery's back. "Don't worry, buddy. He's just jealous."

"Like I said before," Catherine said, "creepy."

"Is that everything?" Catherine asked as we put the final pole into another tent.

"I think so," I said. We had loaded all the equipment off of the rafts and set them up on the shore. It had taken the better part of the afternoon, and the sun was starting to descend faster towards the pines. "Jennifer, have you seen anything yet?"

Our guard shook her head. She didn't speak much. Regardless, if we were finished with the setup, we could start our analysis of the local wildlife. If we circled the lake, we could most likely find a herd of herbivores drinking from the water. Hopefully, we wouldn't meet anything stalking them.

"Would you mind accompanying us?" I asked Jennifer. "We're going to look for animal life by the lakeshore."

Jennifer shrugged and walked with us. We had walked for about a mile around the lake when I saw something moving in the shadow of a tree. I held my arms out and put my finger over my lips, signaling Catherine and Jennifer to be silent. We stood still until a large brown furred animal stepped out from under the tree and bent down to take a drink.

"Is that a moose?" I asked. Jeffery stuck his head out of my pack and stared at it.

"I doubt it," Catherine said. "Moose are almost certainly extinct by now, especially since Asian, African, European and Australian wildlife can cross over the land bridge to Russia. Most likely it's something completely different that just looks like a moose."

"Another point for convergent evolution," I said. "It works for everything."

"Really?" Catherine said. "What's the modern equivalent of the desert shark?"

I paused for a moment. "Shut up. Anyway, why don't we sneak in to get ourselves a closer look?"

Catherine smiled. "Let's do it."

The three of us kept to the shadows, crouching as we walked towards the creature, which we now saw was part of a herd. As we got closer, we could make out plates of bone covering the animals' heads, and large flat horns protruding from the bone.

"Do you think it's an antelope?" I asked. "It's possible they crossed over before the mountain ridge between the continents sprung up."

"That seems plausible," Catherine said. "Those horns definitely aren't antlers."

I pulled out my scanner and picked up the data from the creatures, but I dropped it and scrambled to pick it up. One of the antelopes bellowed loudly, and for a moment, I thought they'd spotted us. The younger and weaker looking animals gathered at the center of the group while what seemed to be the adult males gathered on the edges, aiming their horny helmets outwards. It was then that we saw what they had really spotted. A falanx dashed out of the woods and attempted to jump over the wall of defense into the center of the herd, but one of the herbivores slammed its head up into the rat's underbelly. With a squeal, the predator was sent flying all the way over the group, landing with a splash in the lake. While its three pack mates continued to bite and scratch at the antelopes, it flailed around until it caught itself on a log, jumped back to dry land, and shook the water from its body. It came around to the other side and started hissing, trying to lure the defenders out of position to get at the vulnerable animals behind them. The animals didn't budge, and eventually it started backing up for another charge. Before it started forward again, though, it froze, sniffing the air.

"Crap," I said under my breath as it turned towards us. "Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap."

It saw us. Judging us as easier prey, it called its pack over with a squeal and started to charge. Jennifer took aim with the rifle, but when she pulled the trigger, nothing happened.

"Jammed," I said. "Figures." We turned back to camp and started running, but it was clear that we couldn't make it. Then I had an idea. "Do you two know how to swim?" I asked.

"Yes," Catherine said. Jennifer simply nodded.

"Jump in the lake. It doesn't look like they can swim."

All of us turned abruptly to our left and dived into the water. After paddling for a while, we stopped swimming and looked back. Jeffery sputtered as I held him above the surface. The falanx were standing on the shore, growling.

"Keep going back towards camp," I said. "If we stay in deep, they won't be able to reach us."

"What about the others back at camp?" Catherine asked. "The falanx will probably follow us, and the others don't know they're coming."

"True," I said. "Jennifer, is your radio waterproof?"

She shook her head.

"Drat," I said. I thought for a moment as we treaded water before I came up with a solution. "There are radios on the boat. If we can get back there, we can call for help."

"That'll work," Catherine said.

The captain and crew had already left when we arrived, but all the lights in the ship were still off. After climbing the ladder onto the deck, we started walking towards the storage room. If we could get to the radios inside, we could call back to camp, and they could chase off the falanx. After thankfully finding the door unlocked, we walked in and found the radios almost immediately.

"Hello?" I said, pressing the button. I heard static coming from the other end, but nothing else. "Crap. Still too much interference from the communication warp. Now what?"

"We could get a raft and some guns and take care of them ourselves," Catherine said.

"Good idea," I said. We grabbed one of the rubber rafts, a hand crank air pump, two tranquilizer guns, and one assault rifle, in case the tranquilizers didn't work out. After inflating the raft, we all got in and started to paddle. "Which way should we go?" I asked.

"I don't really think it matters," Catherine said. "Wherever we get close to land, we can just paddle back parallel to the shore until we reach camp, and we can take care of the falanx if we run into them."

"That makes sense, I guess," I said. "Why not head towards the spot where we got attacked? They're likely to still be close to there, and we'll find them if they're between there and the camp."

"Makes sense," Catherine said. "Let's go."

The trip back to shore was completely uneventful, and we couldn't find the falanx when we stopped heading towards land. We tuned the raft and headed back towards camp, but didn't see any sign of the falanx. It seemed that they had abandoned the hunt. Just as the sun was setting, the tents came into view. All of the teams had returned to camp, and appeared to be eating around the campfire.

"Hey!" I yelled. "Nobody thought it would be a good idea to look for us?"

The captain looked at us and shrugged. "We figured you either off chasing some animal."

"Actually," Catherine said as we sat by the fire, our backs facing the woods, "the animals were chasing us. Our old friends the falanx live in the coniferous forest, too."

After hearing that, several people grabbed their guns and started looking around nervously.

"Don't worry," I said. "We lost them a while ago. We'll be fine now, as long as-" My sentence faded into a scream as I felt claws digging into my back. The camp dissolved into chaos as those still holding their guns shot at the rodent clinging to my back. By the time it finally died, the others were tearing through the camp, and I had lost too much blood to move. My face was buried in the ground, but I could make out a paw in front of me. I tried to roll over to extend my life for a few moments, but failed.

"Oh, well," I said. "I've lived a good life." Before the falanx could finish me off, I heard a loud thump, and the creature fell to the ground.

"Not yet, you haven't." It was Catherine's voice. "You still owe me scuba lessons."

I started to laugh, but stopped when my back started bleeding faster. "If the rest of the rats are gone, would you mind taking me to the medical tent?"

"Sorry," Catherine said. "I'll get the stretcher."


	9. Chapter 9

_CHAPTER NINE: CATHERINE'S EXPEDITION_

Pamthret: Vulpemustela Acer

Height: 2.5 ft

Length: 6 ft

Weight: 158 lbs

It appears that the pamthret is a mustelid, or weasel. It is one of the last true carnivores, but dominates the coniferous forests as the largest predator. Much like the hornheads, the pamthrets are a relic from the age of man. While the predator rats of the grasslands have moved into the northern forest as well, the carnivores continue to dominate.

It is likely that the extinction of wolves, bears and wildcats happened earlier in the north than in the south, meaning that rodents were not yet prepared to hunt the prey that the carnivores once had, but large mustelids such as wolverines had a head start. Eventually, these mustelids completely took over as the top predators of the coniferous forest. Only recently did the predatory rodents move northward, and they still have to avoid the territory of indigenous mustelids.

"Oh, come on," I said. "I can come!"

"No, Charles, you can't," Catherine said. "You complain about walking when you're fully capable of it. There's no way we're taking you along like this. Look at you! You can't even stand."

"Can, too!" I said. I pulled myself off of the hospital bed only to fall on the floor. "I did that on purpose," I said, although my voice was muffled by the floor.

"This isn't an argument," Catherine said as she pulled me back onto the bed. "You're not ready to walk down the hallway, let alone hike through the woods. What if the falanx came back? If we had to carry you back to camp, one of us could get killed. Besides, someone has to watch Jeffery. He's been taking your injury pretty hard."

Jeffery looked up from the foot of my bed and tilted his head slightly before going back to sleep.

"Okay," I said. "Fine. I'll stay on the boat, but you've got to where a live-feed helmet. I'll set my T.V. to channel one."

"Okay," Catherine said. "I can do that. I guess I'll be sing you."

I thought of something else as she turned to walk out. "Wait! Put on a headset, too, in case I need to talk to you."

"Sure thing," she said with a smile. "Now, if that's all-"

"Actually," I said, "there's one more thing." I paused for a moment. "Take my journal."

Catherine's eyes widened. "Really?" I never let anyone touch my journal, and Catherine knew it. "Are you sure?"

I hesitated once again, briefly considering taking it back before deciding that it was for the best. "Yes, I'm sure. I want everything recorded in that book to be a firsthand account. Sometimes, you miss things over a video screen that you can see with your eyes. If I can't go, I want you to be the one to write the entries." I reached into the drawer beside my bed and threw the book inside to Catherine. "Be careful with it, okay?"

"Don't worry," Catherine said. "I will."

I sat on my bed, nervously tapping on the bedside table with my pencil. Why didn't Catherine have her headset on yet? She had more than enough time to get it. Maybe she was waiting until she got to shore first? She was the only other one on the ship, so she might have been having technical problems. I wished she would just-

"Hey, Charles," said the voice on the television as the static switched to a view of the lake from the deck.

"Finally!" I said. "What on earth took you so long?"

"Charles, I left your room three minutes ago," Catherine said. "How fast do you expect me to move?"

"Never mind," I said. "You'd better get going before the expedition leaves."

"They aren't going to leave without me," she said as she climbed onto a raft. "I'm the one collecting biological data. There would be no point in the expedition without me."

"Still," I said, "you don't want to be late."

"I'm going," she said.

After a few minutes of rowing, I broke the silence. "What do you think you'll find?"

"More hornheads, for one thing," Catherine said. "Maybe some new predators. Almost definitely a few small foragers."

"I wonder if squirrels held out this long," I said. "They're certainly resourceful enough, judging by how hard it was to keep them off my birdfeeder at home."

"It's possible," Catherine said. "Rodents are known for their adaptability."

"Then again," I said, "so were humans."

Catherine was silent for a moment. "That's a bit morbid."

"It's true."

"Catherine," said the captain. "It's about time. Are you ready yet?"

"Yeah," Catherine said. "If you don't mind, Charles will be observing through the helmet-cam."

"Sure," said the captain. "Hey, Chad," he said as he waved at Catherine's helmet.

I glared at the screen. "Oh, come on," I said into my headset. "This is ridiculous. He knows my name, yet he still chooses to use these idiotic nicknames."

"Charles," Catherine said, "you probably-"

"I mean, I could understand it the first few times, but how stupid do you have to be to not notice how irritating that is?"

"Charles, it might not be a good idea-"

"What an obnoxious, oblivious, daft-"

"Charles!" Catherine yelled. "You're on speakerphone."

"Oh," I said. "By the way, captain, I love your shirt today."

The captain simply scowled. "Let's pretend that never happened. Moving on, is everyone ready to go?"

The expedition members nodded, and the group set off. The first few minutes after entering the woods were uneventful. Several types of birds were singing from the trees, but the team was unable to locate them to get a scan. The only other sign of animal activity was the rustling of leaves in the bushes.

"So," I said, "What do you think we'll find here?"

"Probably mustelids," Catherine said. "Judging by the presence of the hornheads, the rabbucks didn't arrive until recently, if they're here at all. They seem to be the primary food source of the falanx, and they wouldn't have gone far quickly without them. Also, the rats here don't seem to be too different from the ones on the plains. If they're recent arrivals, there had to be something hunting the local herbivores. Since most large animals seem to have gone extinct, mustelids might have taken the place of bears, wolves and cougars up here."

"Maybe," I said. "I'm not entirely convinced that the rodents up here didn't fill the niche separately from the falanx."

"I'll bet you ten bucks," Catherine said.

"You're on."

"They bet on this stuff?" the captain asked.

"Yep," Alan said. "I guess it's a biologist thing."

It had been several hours, and we still hadn't found anything. It was as if the animals in this part of the woods were hiding from something. Recently, the birds had even stopped singing, but we still heard the rustling in the bushes. It was fairly unnerving, even though I wasn't there, and I had brought Jeffery up to sit next to me. He appeared to be watching the screen as intently as I was.

"So, Catherine, what do you-?"

"Quiet," she said.

"What do you mean?" I said, careful to whisper this time.

"I mean we're being stalked. Listen to the rustling." Immediately after she said this, I heard it again.

"What about it?"

"It's the same sound every time. The same animal has been following us for the last hour or so. That's not curiosity, it's hunger."

"What do you plan to do about it?" I asked.

"Well, I haven't said anything yet, because I don't want the guards making any sudden moves. We don't know what's following us or what it'll take to set it off."

"You sound like you have experience with this," I said.

"I spent a summer in Africa researching wild dogs. Not the point right now. I'm going to throw your headset, and I want you to squeal."

"Okay," I said. "But wait, how am I going to contact you after-"

"Now!" Catherine said, tossing the ear bud away from the group. I did my best to sound like a dying antelope as the device hit the ground, causing Jeffery to retract into his shell. As the camera was connected to Catherine's helmet, not the headset, I was able to see a falanx pounce on the latter. After seeing the large cut on its head, I identified it as the one that attacked me at the camp before Catherine knocked it out with the butt of a gun. It must have regained consciousness and gotten away when everyone was taking me back to the boat. It was followed by three more that were lucky enough to miss the hunt the night before. The armed members of the party caught on fast, and were preparing to shoot when another growl came from behind them. They turned to find two animals of a different sort. They had elongated bodies and fairly short legs, resembling those of a wiener dog. They were noticeably larger than the falanx, and they were clearly predators as well. Judging by the fact that we hadn't heard them coming, they were highly specialized to hunting in the forest, and the falanx would be the least of our problems. The two species closed in on either side of the group, and it was clear that there was no escape. With six attackers, it was also clear that the shooters wouldn't be able to take them down without casualties. Finally, one of the new creatures leaped forward. Before anyone could retaliate, however, it had already cleared the humans and sunk its claws into the neck of a predator rat. The crew cleared the way for the other animal, which joined the fray.

"What are those things?" asked Catherine as another falanx fell to the teeth of the creatures.

"I'd rather not find out," said the captain. "Let's go!"

Before running the other way, Catherine managed to pull out the scanner and get a reading from one of the predators as it ripped out a rat's throat. Just as she was leaving their line of sight, she turned to see them standing over the corpse of the final rat, securing their hunting grounds as their own and letting out a roar.

"Holy crap," I said, staring at the screen. "That was awesome!"

"Hang on, Charles," Catherine said on the other end of the camera. "I think I have some headphones in my pack. They might be compatible with the helmet. I saw her turn and pull out a set of ear buds from a digital music player. They went out of view as she plugged them into a port on the helmet. I heard a click, followed by Catherine's voice. "Charles, say something."

"You got the scan, right?"

Catherine sighed. "Yes, Charles, you saw me get the scan. And I'm fine, too, thanks for asking."

"We've been attacked so many times now, I figured you're used to it," I said. "Now, I want you to write down the entry as soon as you can. I think that you've done enough to call the mission a success already, so you should start heading back to the ship. Jeffery misses you."

The rootsucker yawned and scratched his head.

"Fine. I don't think anyone will object to that after this fiasco."

"See you soon, then."


End file.
